Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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