covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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