You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
