I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
