what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
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