is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
