I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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