there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
