the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
