i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Randomize
