I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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