dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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