OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
