I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
