so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
