Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
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