And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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