Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
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