i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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