Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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