Dual....:-)
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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