My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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