One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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