We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Randomize
