Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
