Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
