Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
