Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
