I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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