it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Randomize
