is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
