If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
