My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
