The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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