is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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