I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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