Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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