Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
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