Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
