3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
