It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Randomize
