i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
