I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
