If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
