you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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