i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
