i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
