just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
