All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I touched a dick in church today
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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