I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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