did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
