The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
